it’s not about you

This makes me so mad, I can hardly think straight.

Can you say “sexist?”

This is nothing but outright discrimination against women. Perhaps they should deny their husbands insurance unless they get a vasectomy, since these women are only worth insuring unless they are sterilized. Just like the drug company is only targeting Gardasil to adolescent girls when they get HPV by having SEX which usually involves SOMEONE ELSE, and more dominantly, a BOY.

OR just like all the main symptoms for heart disease we are told to look for are predominately found in men, while the symptoms women face are hardly understood or studied as much.

Or just like how women used to be diagnosed with female hysteria and subject to ridiculous, harmful, and demeaning treatments because some “had a tendency to cause trouble.”

I don’t know, or just like how women are told if they nurse their babies longer than six months they’re abusing their children.

Or how stay-at-home moms are pitted against working moms as if we’re all a different breed from each other.

Or, you know, how the rumors about the casts from Sex and the City or Desperate Housewives are always cat-fighting, but no one starts rumors about the Sopranos, because you know, women just cat-fight and men are rational.

I’m effing sick and tired of the establishment discriminating against us just for being women.

How ’bout that pay raise now?

This past Friday morning, I woke up, got dressed and logged onto my computer to check my e-mail. While I waited for my e-mail to download, I began to get a cup of coffee together. My daily SFGate headline news e-mail popped out at me, with this article in the subject line:

“Homeschoolers’ setback sends shockwaves through the state.”

I hadn’t even finished the article before I had received two separate phone calls from people, each with a seemingly benign, “So, how are you?” that was actually loaded to find out whether or not I had seen the article yet.

I felt utterly and completely broad-sided. I actually told that to Robin when she called at 8:30, and I think I scared her at first, judging by her startled, “what?!?” in response. I had to clarify that I hadn’t been physically broad-sided - I had yet to leave the house, after all.

We haven’t said anything publicly yet about our decision regarding our kids’ education, though a lot of people already know. We have decided to homeschool Mary Judah during the next school year, which will be her kindergarten year. Beyond that, we aren’t making any commitments (though I have to say my stubborn side is leaning toward homeschooling just to stick it to that judge!). I have been doing a lot of research and studying and talking to people and praying and evaluating and trying to figure out what it is we’re supposed to do regarding her education and the choices we want to make as we raise her the type of opportunities we want her to have in life. Same goes for Killian, and that should go without speaking, though Mary Judah’s formal education is much more imminent.

I never in a million years thought I would ever homeschool, ever. I actually said to people, “I will never homeschool my children.” Of course, that was during those light and care-free days before morning sickness, and rotund bellies, and screaming in the middle of the night as I pushed a human being out of my own body.

Then I took one look at my daughter’s face, fell hopelessly in love with her, and the seeds were planted. What can I say? I couldn’t imagine ever being separated from her. As she’s grown and I’ve gotten to know her and helped to shape her into the person she is and will become, I’ve questioned my resolute decision not to homeschool. I started asking myself, why? Well, why not?

I began reading and researching and having come to grips with the misconceptions I’ve had, and through all of that, decided to go for it. This ruling that came down late last month has infuriated me. There are so many holes in it, it’s not even funny. From the education code, to what makes a private school, to religious reasons for homeschooling, to teaching credentials, to parental rights, to the real reason for compulsory education, there are just so many things wrong with it. And I’m going to talk about all of them. That’s right. Like you thought for a second I wouldn’t.

Here’s what happened in a nutshell. If I don’t have details as accurate as I think I do, I will most certainly go back and change them:

According to the ruling, the homeschooling parents of eight children were taken to court in a child welfare case. As the case progressed, the attorney for two of the children asked to court to direct the juvenile court to order the children to enroll and attend a public or private school. The parents asserted that they had a constitutional right to homeschool their children.

The ruling states that no, parents do not have a constitutional right to oversee their children’s education at home and that according to the education code, in this particular case, the parents were not following any of the provisions allowed to educate their children.

The court then asserts that homeschooling in general cannot fall under the private school allowance in the education code, and actually goes so far as to consider the process of parents who establish private schools in their homes as a means of following the law and then teaching their children at home to being a “ruse.”

The court also states that parents who wish to teach their children at home must hold a valid credential in the grade level being taught.

From the ruling:

It is clear to us that enrollment and attendance in a public full-time day school is required by California law for minor children unless (1) the child is enrolled in a private full-time day school and actually attends that private school, (2) the child is tutored by a person holding a valid state teaching credential for the grade being taught, or (3) one of the other few statutory exemptions to compulsory public school attendance applies to the child.

Exemptions to compulsory public school education are made for, among others, children who (1) attend a private full-time day school (§ 48222) or (2) are instructed by a tutor who holds a valid state teaching credential for the grade being taught (§ 48224).

Such representation does not constitute a statement that the Los Angeles Unified School District and the Los Angeles County Office of Education knowingly gave their stamp of approval to children being deprived of an education in a public or private full-time day school setting, or by a credentialed tutor, through the ruse of enrolling them in a private school and then letting them stay home and be taught by a non-credentialed parent.

One of the issues raised about the ruling by the Homeschool Legal Defense Association is that “the decision is categorical and was not written to be limited to just the facts of this case,” which means that if the Supreme Court ratifies this ruling, it can be applied to homeschoolers across the board, not just to the people involved in the case, resulting in a benchmark case to be able to prosecute homeschooling parents across the state. Lovely. Also keep in mind that, like it or not, California is a bellwether state and the decisions made here can have dramatic impacts reverberating across the country.

Where do things stand now? From what I understand, the parents are appealing to the state’s Supreme Court. The HSLDA is getting involved, along with other homeschooling organizations, on several fronts. The gubernator has said he will support homeschooling families and said that “if the courts don’t protect parents’ rights then, as elected officials, we will.” Several state legislators have promised to introduce legislation to protect homeschooling and the California Superintendent of Public Instruction, Jack O’Connell has said he believes homeschooling in still legal in the state.

The HSLDA also has a petition you can sign to ask the Supreme Court to depublish the ruling, which would prevent in from being used as a precedent and limit its scope to the particular case.

I’ll have another post tomorrow.

That if enough parents getting angry over Hannah Montana ticket scalping could bring about investigations and legal action, then parents getting angry over the courts taking away their right to homeschool without a teaching credential could bring about positive change as well.

I mean, come on. The Hannah Freaking Montana Bill? Actually, the “Freaking” part isn’t really a part of it. I added that myself. I think it sounds better.

I’m going to be doing a series of posts (rather than one LONG post) with my thoughts on the ruling handed down by a California appellate court late last month, now that my initial anger is out of the way, so for those of you who have told me you miss “hearing my voice” on the internet - this one’s for you. Okay, not really for you. But kind of.

I’ll be giving up my nightly hot bath to do this, just so you know I MEAN IT.

Barack? Or Hillary?

Barack? Or Hillary?

That is the question.

I’m gonna think about it through this cup of coffee and then I’m going to load Killian in the stroller, walk up the hill to my polling station, and make up my mind.

Other thoughts on my mind are what I’m going to give up for Lent. Besides swearing, that is. I should wear my T-shirt tomorrow.

Oh! And tomorrow - we are hosting a 7:30 a.m. Ash Wednesday service for anyone who’s interested. I meant to blog about this sooner, but the kids have STILL BEEN SICK. E-mail me or comment if you’d like to come, and I’ll let you in on all the details. Now I just have to go find my ashes…

This is just creepy.

Meat and milk from cloned animals is as safe as that from their counterparts bred the old-fashioned way, the Food and Drug Administration said Tuesday — but sales still won’t begin right away.

The decision removes the last big U.S. regulatory hurdle to marketing products from cloned livestock, and puts the FDA in concert with recent safety assessments from European food regulators and several other nations.

“Meat and milk from cattle, swine and goat clones are as safe as food we eat every day,” said Dr. Stephen Sundloff, FDA’s food safety chief.

But the government has asked animal cloning companies to continue a voluntary moratorium on sales for a little longer — not for safety reasons, but marketing ones.

EEEEEW.

On Barack and Hillary:

But what worries me is that he is seen as unifying by his race while she is seen as divisive by her sex.

What worries me is that she is accused of “playing the gender card” when citing the old boys’ club, while he is seen as unifying by citing civil rights confrontations.

What worries me is that male Iowa voters were seen as gender-free when supporting their own, while female voters were seen as biased if they did and disloyal if they didn’t.

What worries me is that reporters ignore Mr. Obama’s dependence on the old — for instance, the frequent campaign comparisons to John F. Kennedy — while not challenging the slander that her progressive policies are part of the Washington status quo.

What worries me is that some women, perhaps especially younger ones, hope to deny or escape the sexual caste system; thus Iowa women over 50 and 60, who disproportionately supported Senator Clinton, proved once again that women are the one group that grows more radical with age.

Gloria Steinem on why “Woman Are Never Front-Runners” via the New York Times.

So why is the sex barrier not taken as seriously as the racial one? The reasons are as pervasive as the air we breathe: because sexism is still confused with nature as racism once was; because anything that affects males is seen as more serious than anything that affects “only” the female half of the human race; because children are still raised mostly by women (to put it mildly) so men especially tend to feel they are regressing to childhood when dealing with a powerful woman; because racism stereotyped black men as more “masculine” for so long that some white men find their presence to be masculinity-affirming (as long as there aren’t too many of them); and because there is still no “right” way to be a woman in public power without being considered a you-know-what.

Yesterday, Judah had a REALLY rough day. I’m not exactly sure what was going on with her, but everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, was sending her into fits of angry tears.

I picked her up from preschool yesterday, and usually, all the children are sitting on the front steps together singing a song while waiting for all the parents to arrive. When I walked up, I couldn’t see Judah, who is usually right in the middle of everyone with a huge grin on her face.

I heard her call my name but I couldn’t see her and I thought maybe something had happened. Her teachers told me that she refused to put her shoes on and that she was still inside, and that they weren’t making a big deal out of it. Confused, I went upstairs to see what was going on when Judah melted down. Apparently she didn’t want to leave her first day back to preschool. Which doesn’t surprise me, because when I dropped her off that morning, she wouldn’t even give me hugs and kisses good-bye. I think she’s four going on fourteen.

When we got home, all the way through lunch and afterward, it was the same thing. Everything sent her over the edge. I kept sending her to her room and making her sit in my comfy chair until she would calm down, only to have her melt down all over again at the next injustice of the world - Killian wanting to do what HE wanted and not what SHE wanted.

I finally made her go lie down on my bed and gave her an afghan as some covers, which, of course, she immediately threw on the floor to spite me. She screamed at me for about 20 minutes through the door, and when she finally calmed down, I went in to talk to her. I tried to ask her what was going on and why so was crying and so upset. She kept saying she just wanted to play, or just wanted to read that book, or whatever, and I told her I didn’t understand why she was crying about it all.

After a while, I told her I wanted to her lie down on my bed and rest, and maybe take a nap, and that while she did it, I wanted her to talk to Jesus and tell him how she was feeling and ask him to help her have a happy heart.

At that she began to cry again and I asked her what was wrong, and she said she couldn’t talk to Jesus because she couldn’t see the sky. I told her that she could talk to Jesus no matter where she was, and that God was everywhere. She then said that God didn’t live here and so she couldn’t talk to him. I asked her where God lived and she said, whimpering,

“God lives in Texas.”

Classic. Yeah, so I don’t really have a response for that.

So I told her again that I wanted her to talk to God, and she said she didn’t want to. So I said that was fine, and she could lie there and just listen for God to talk to her. At this I left the room and went in the kids’ room to play with Killian. After about 15 or 20 minutes, I heard her calling me. I went in to see what she needed, and she turned to me and said,

“God’s not saying anything to me.”

Can I just say that I love making New Year’s Resolutions?

I love making New Year’s Resolutions.

Joshua makes fun of me, because he is of the mindset that if you’re going to make a change in your life, then just MAKE A CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE ALREADY, Good Freaking Lord. But me? I love this. I’m sure I’ve blogged about it before, but I need this fresh chance, this opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start over, and I know that there are probably hundreds of thousands of people doing this with me. I mean, not WITH ME with me, but making New Year’s Resolutions just the same. Like gym buddies. Dawn, where are you? Do you read this? I know you’ll understand. Someone tell Dawn I miss her. Thanks.

So I have a few to mention here and several that are more of the wanting-to-better-myself-and-create-good-habits-while-getting-rid-of-bad-ones that I’m not going to mention.

The List, in no particular order except which they came out of my head:

Blog More.
For both the photo blog and the written blog. They both got pushed to the side for other pursuits, and due to laziness and a lack of hard drive space for the former (which brings me to one of my better-myself and get-organized resolutions of cleaning out my hard drive and organizing my digital photo library - maybe that will be one of my 43 things that gets crossed off this year…). The goal is once a day for both sites, even if it’s just a link.

Finish the Novel.
I took December off to recover from November and enjoy the holidays. My goal is to finish by the end of February and finish editing by the end of May. I think that’s reasonable.

Get Out of Debt.
‘Nuff said. At the rate I’m planning, we should be good by September, hopefully sooner. Not counting the car payments, which should be sometime in 2012 (2011 at the rate I’m going for that).

Find a Spiritual Mentor.
This is something I’ve missed since we left Texas, between Tracey and Becky and Mark and Shannon, I always had someone to go to, and I’ve missed that here. I have someone in mind, and I’ll think she’ll go for it. My goal, if this becomes a reality, is to meet at least once a month, specifically for spiritual direction/discipleship type of stuff.

Observe the Offices and the Christian Calendar.
For those of you scratching your heads, did you grow up Baptist, too? Andrew starting observing the Feast Days at the beginning of Advent, and as the Brits say, I think it’s a lovely idea. So I’ll start with the New Year. Is tomorrow anything? Will I have missed one already? I’d love any points to resources on this if you have them.

How many is that? Five? That should do. I don’t want to bore you or anything…

Happy New Year!

link

beautiful.

1. Since Jill’s comment, I have heard the phrase “sour grapes” not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES this week and I think there’s a conspiracy afoot (and Jill, we need to all hang out, at least once, before you pop).

2. My computer. OH MY GOD. The shift key has lost its mind. And is now removed from my keyboard. Using the other shift key is a total pain in the ass.

3. My power cord has decided it only wants to work in ONE position. What is WITH my laptop???

4. My son has learned the art of SCREAMING HIS BLOODY HEAD OFF. If this were a podcast, you would get an aural taste. COUNT YOURSELF AMONG THE BLESSED THAT IT’S NOT.

5. Two nights ago, we didn’t get any sleep due to above-mentioned number four, and his two teeth that popped through this week. I woke up after said sleep-deprived night and got head-butted right smack in the face. I think he broke my nose, but I’m not real sure. It hurts like hell. And so do my front four teeth (his front four have all come in in the past three weeks - baby Tylenol is his friend - so is the rum. And the whiskey). Not enough Advil for me in the world, my friends. My dentist is going to love this.

6. We’re moving. We found a flat (in our price range) in the Outer Richmond on 30th Ave. A half block from Golden Gate Park. Two bedrooms, one and a half bath, formal dining, living room with a working fireplace, kitchen with a gas stove, disposal and dishwasher, all hardwoods, and tile in the kitchen, parking garage, storage unit, W/D hookups, and a YARD. With real grass. And patio space. Did I mention it was a half-block from Golden Gate Park?? We move middle of July. i hear that hiring movers is worth every penny. I think we’re gonna go that route. Good Lord, I'’m tired of moving. This will be our seventh move in five years of marriage (July 6th - woot!!). And we have our own mailbox to boot.

7. We’ve been going to Mission Bay Community Church. And we’re going to join. And I’m going to be on the steering committee (I think). Good Lord, what have we done?? Does this mean we’re Presbyterian now?? Tracey and Lee Ann should be getting a good kick out of this.

8. MBCC is reading the Bible in 90 days. I’m so way behind. I’m somewhere in Exodus reading about a bunch of whiny Israelites, while everyone else in on their way to Judges or Ruth or something. And it’s good. It’s good practice/exercise/discipline.

9. Yeah, so that’s all I’ve got for now. I’m really busy. Hoping to post more often, sooner than later. I have lots of thoughts on lots of things. Really?, you say; you don’t say?, you say.

Ciao.