it’s not about you

mousturizer: n. a hydrating facial lotion for the beauty-conscious rodent.

via dooce.

eleviate: 1. n.a drug (opiate) derived from elevator. 2. v. to use the opiate of the same name in order to get “high.” 3. v., unrelated. to transcend one’s present state of mind and body by doing that jumping thing when the elevator slows down.

via Daniel. thankyouverymuch.

pop starts: n. young and WASPily beautiful wanna-be musicians, who don’t write their own lyrics or sing about anything important in life, covered on one side with frosting, and ready for breakfast after a short trip through the toaster.

courtesy of yours truly.

coniption: 1. n. proper. a three-man band from southeast Kansas with a terrible web site and and even worse logo (red on black? you guys, come on). 2. n. an attack of ideas about how to trick people into giving away their money.

thank you, kendra, for the typo.

I’ve decided to create a new category of posts. You know how there is the redneck dictionary or the Texas dictionary? Things like that? Yeah, that’s right, that’s what I’m talking about. Well, I have noticed the abundance of typos on the world wide web, and some of them are just downright funny. I am compiling a list and will post a “typo,” complete with the word’s new definition. to start:

ariel photographs: n. plural form. pictures taken of the little mermaid, usually in a suggestive pose.

thank you brother, for your typo in our comments section. more to follow.