it’s not about you

The temp in San Francisco right now?

94 degrees, baby.

I am loving this. The kids and I hit the beach this morning with some friends and we got there early enough to not have any trouble finding a parking spot. Of course, it was mobbed with hot and cranky people when we left. Nancy and I were at the water’s edge with all the kids, when a couple of really skinny, tanned women in skimpy bikinis sauntered by. I told Mary Judah to stop throwing sand so one of them could pass and when she was out of earshot, I turned to Nancy and said, “Maybe I should have let her keep throwing it.” Neither of us are by any means obese, yet we lamented the deterioration of our bodies anyway, when another skinny and tanned and skimpy-bikini-clad woman walked by, leaving Nancy and I speechless again. I turned to her after a few moments and said, “Well… I’ve given birth! TWICE!”

We’ve got the kiddie pool set up in the backyard soaking up warmth from the sun so we can go out there after Killian’s nap. My kids are running around mostly naked and I’m sweating.

I’m just sure glad I’m not pregnant right now.

If you’re gonna eat meat, don’t be a pussy.

link.

this one’s good.

Lauren’s a vegetarian. I’m not. I have been, periodically, and I don’t eat much meat anyway - mostly chicken, hardly ever beef. I gave up meat for Lent this year, which meant my family also gave up meat by default, since I’m the one who does virtually all the shopping and cooking.

Found this photoset from my husband’s blog, and had to post. Enjoy!

Anyone up for a bacon bar?

Mary Judah’s preschool went on a field trip to Harley Farms down in Pescadero today. I am EXHAUSTED. Tonight, I had a sub-committee meeting at my house for the church Steering Committee, and the last person just left five minutes ago.

Mary Judah was very excited about taking her camera to the goat farm this morning and the first thing she did when we got there was whip it out and take pictures. She took pictures the whole time we were there. When Joshua got home from work tonight, she showed him all the pictures from her camera. Somehow, Killian got ahold of it and started pushing buttons (Joshua just informed me that Mary judah handed Killian her camera). When Mary Judah went to show our friend Nick the photos she’d taken today, none of them appeared. Apparently, Killian had been deleting photos the entire time he was pushing buttons.

I feel like crying about it, and boy howdy, have we had enough of that around here. All of those photos she worked so hard to get - GONE. And I can’t pay six bucks and just go get another one. I feel SO BAD. She was so thrilled about her photos and now they’re GONE GONE GONE.

In other news, I’m teaching her that when she tells people, “My mom is going to homeschool me” she needs to add, “and we’re sticking it to the man.”

That’s my girl.

Or something.

I was planning another homeschool court ruling post, but I’m so mentally wiped out right now, it’s not funny. I’ve been on the verge of tears all day - okay that’s not true. I’ve been actually CRYING all day - and the only thing I can sort out is that it must be hormonally-related.

I go to what I call The Little Old Lady Bible Study on Thursday mornings with some other moms I know and we, in true Little Old Lady fashion, sing hymns every week (Tiffany, you should never go, because I swear, every week, some Little Old Lady I don’t know is right there at the door to GIVE ME A HUG and I can never get around her). This week, we sang “Because He Lives” by Bill and Gloria Gaither, which totally counts as a hymn in my book. The song reminds me, for one, of little old gray haired people in the basement of some Baptist church in the South and, for two, of my mother. The chorus is:

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone!
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives!

An the last line goes:
And then one day I’ll cross the river,
I’ll fight life’s final war with pain.
And then as death gives way to victory,
I’ll see the lights of glory and I’ll know He lives.

I imagine this song means a lot to Little Old Ladies, and I imagine this song must have meant a lot to my mother, especially as she dealt with her cancer and, before long, her imminent death. I found myself this morning, standing with my hands shoved into the pockets of my jeans, fidgeting and staring at the overhead screen, willing myself not to cry. I was very glad the song was immediately followed by a prayer so I could wipe my face in peace.

So that kind of started my day off as a tear-jerker. Then, the most ridiculous thing happened: we lost one of Killian’s toys and it pushed me over The Edge. I was a mess of tears and snot and could not control myself, and I felt really stupid for it.

There’s this TV show on Nickelodeon called The Backyardigans, and while we don’t have cable (or a TV for that matter) we have a DVD with a few episodes of it. I let the kids watch it while I’m getting dinner ready, and they love it. Joshua found beanie babies of the characters at the San Diego airport while he was traveling on business, and we have collected all five of the them. Killian has really taken to Pablo, a blue and yellow penguin, and he carries him around everywhere. He especially goes in the car and to bed with him now. He calls all the characters and the show “Pablo” as well.

So I let him take Pablo to Bible study, because he always freaks out when I leave him in the child care room, even though I’ve been doing the SAME THING EVERY WEEK FOR MONTHS NOW, GET A GRIP, CHILD. I thought maybe having Pablo would ease the transition and give him something to, both literally and figuratively, hold onto.

After Bible study was over, I picked the kids up, nursed the boy, and we went to get in the car to go home. I was almost done loading everything in the car, when I realized we didn’t have Pablo. So we went back inside and searched the kids’ room thoroughly to no avail. I left a note in the church office with my phone number, stressing that this was a VERY IMPORTANT toy. On the way back to the car, I ran into the lady who runs the kids’ program and told her we were missing a toy and described it and asked her if she could get in touch with the child care workers and the other moms to see if anyone accidentally took it.

And then I started freaking out. I can’t explain why, but I was so irrationally distraught at losing Pablo. I felt that I had betrayed my son’s trust; he finally had a favorite toy and I went and lost it. He was so sweet, sitting on my hip as I dragged him and his sister around trying to find this six-dollar plush cartoon penguin, ocassionally saying, “Pa-booow,” and I lost it and started crying. I cried the whole way home, and I cried up the stairs, and I cried as we dumped all our belongings on the floor, and I cried as put the stupid DVD in for them so I could run to bathroom, close the door and cry some more. And I cried and cried. I cried while I fixed lunch and I cried on the phone to Joshua. I was certain Pablo was lost forever, and while I could go out and buy Killian a new one, it didn’t absolve me of the sin of not keeping track of him in the first place.

I finally pulled it together when Kim, Mary Judah’s preschool teacher, called to let me know of a change in plans to our outing tomorrow to a goat farm down the coast. She had begun by saying, “Bad news,” which really wasn’t that bad, just that our tour was a hour earlier than she thought, so we were going to have to leave an hour earlier. “More coffee,” I told her, and then told her my own bad news about losing Pablo. Kim also goes to The Little Old Lady Bible Study, and her sons, who are virtually the same ages as my kids, also go to the child care. She checked her things and LO AND BEHOLD, she had Pablo.

He was found! The prodigal son returneth! Okay, so not really. But, wow.

Amazingly enough, you would think that I would have stopped crying at that point, right? But, no! I was on the verge of tears all afternoon and then I cried some more when Joshua got home. I’m still pretty verklempt, as a matter of fact, so I think I’m going to go pour myself another glass of wine, run a hot bath and have myself another good cry.

So, no homeschool post tonight. I just can’t bring myself to get invested. I hope I’m not disappointing all my fans.

This past Friday morning, I woke up, got dressed and logged onto my computer to check my e-mail. While I waited for my e-mail to download, I began to get a cup of coffee together. My daily SFGate headline news e-mail popped out at me, with this article in the subject line:

“Homeschoolers’ setback sends shockwaves through the state.”

I hadn’t even finished the article before I had received two separate phone calls from people, each with a seemingly benign, “So, how are you?” that was actually loaded to find out whether or not I had seen the article yet.

I felt utterly and completely broad-sided. I actually told that to Robin when she called at 8:30, and I think I scared her at first, judging by her startled, “what?!?” in response. I had to clarify that I hadn’t been physically broad-sided - I had yet to leave the house, after all.

We haven’t said anything publicly yet about our decision regarding our kids’ education, though a lot of people already know. We have decided to homeschool Mary Judah during the next school year, which will be her kindergarten year. Beyond that, we aren’t making any commitments (though I have to say my stubborn side is leaning toward homeschooling just to stick it to that judge!). I have been doing a lot of research and studying and talking to people and praying and evaluating and trying to figure out what it is we’re supposed to do regarding her education and the choices we want to make as we raise her the type of opportunities we want her to have in life. Same goes for Killian, and that should go without speaking, though Mary Judah’s formal education is much more imminent.

I never in a million years thought I would ever homeschool, ever. I actually said to people, “I will never homeschool my children.” Of course, that was during those light and care-free days before morning sickness, and rotund bellies, and screaming in the middle of the night as I pushed a human being out of my own body.

Then I took one look at my daughter’s face, fell hopelessly in love with her, and the seeds were planted. What can I say? I couldn’t imagine ever being separated from her. As she’s grown and I’ve gotten to know her and helped to shape her into the person she is and will become, I’ve questioned my resolute decision not to homeschool. I started asking myself, why? Well, why not?

I began reading and researching and having come to grips with the misconceptions I’ve had, and through all of that, decided to go for it. This ruling that came down late last month has infuriated me. There are so many holes in it, it’s not even funny. From the education code, to what makes a private school, to religious reasons for homeschooling, to teaching credentials, to parental rights, to the real reason for compulsory education, there are just so many things wrong with it. And I’m going to talk about all of them. That’s right. Like you thought for a second I wouldn’t.

Here’s what happened in a nutshell. If I don’t have details as accurate as I think I do, I will most certainly go back and change them:

According to the ruling, the homeschooling parents of eight children were taken to court in a child welfare case. As the case progressed, the attorney for two of the children asked to court to direct the juvenile court to order the children to enroll and attend a public or private school. The parents asserted that they had a constitutional right to homeschool their children.

The ruling states that no, parents do not have a constitutional right to oversee their children’s education at home and that according to the education code, in this particular case, the parents were not following any of the provisions allowed to educate their children.

The court then asserts that homeschooling in general cannot fall under the private school allowance in the education code, and actually goes so far as to consider the process of parents who establish private schools in their homes as a means of following the law and then teaching their children at home to being a “ruse.”

The court also states that parents who wish to teach their children at home must hold a valid credential in the grade level being taught.

From the ruling:

It is clear to us that enrollment and attendance in a public full-time day school is required by California law for minor children unless (1) the child is enrolled in a private full-time day school and actually attends that private school, (2) the child is tutored by a person holding a valid state teaching credential for the grade being taught, or (3) one of the other few statutory exemptions to compulsory public school attendance applies to the child.

Exemptions to compulsory public school education are made for, among others, children who (1) attend a private full-time day school (§ 48222) or (2) are instructed by a tutor who holds a valid state teaching credential for the grade being taught (§ 48224).

Such representation does not constitute a statement that the Los Angeles Unified School District and the Los Angeles County Office of Education knowingly gave their stamp of approval to children being deprived of an education in a public or private full-time day school setting, or by a credentialed tutor, through the ruse of enrolling them in a private school and then letting them stay home and be taught by a non-credentialed parent.

One of the issues raised about the ruling by the Homeschool Legal Defense Association is that “the decision is categorical and was not written to be limited to just the facts of this case,” which means that if the Supreme Court ratifies this ruling, it can be applied to homeschoolers across the board, not just to the people involved in the case, resulting in a benchmark case to be able to prosecute homeschooling parents across the state. Lovely. Also keep in mind that, like it or not, California is a bellwether state and the decisions made here can have dramatic impacts reverberating across the country.

Where do things stand now? From what I understand, the parents are appealing to the state’s Supreme Court. The HSLDA is getting involved, along with other homeschooling organizations, on several fronts. The gubernator has said he will support homeschooling families and said that “if the courts don’t protect parents’ rights then, as elected officials, we will.” Several state legislators have promised to introduce legislation to protect homeschooling and the California Superintendent of Public Instruction, Jack O’Connell has said he believes homeschooling in still legal in the state.

The HSLDA also has a petition you can sign to ask the Supreme Court to depublish the ruling, which would prevent in from being used as a precedent and limit its scope to the particular case.

I’ll have another post tomorrow.

“Remember when we first fell in love and we used to wander around the streets of Paris, taking pictures together? And then we consummated that love and popped out two kids? Yeah, those days are so over.”

That was last night, on the two-year anniversary of our Texodus.

Polaroid is getting out of the Polaroid business.

O

M

G

!!!!

via the nytimes.

Barack? Or Hillary?

Barack? Or Hillary?

That is the question.

I’m gonna think about it through this cup of coffee and then I’m going to load Killian in the stroller, walk up the hill to my polling station, and make up my mind.

Other thoughts on my mind are what I’m going to give up for Lent. Besides swearing, that is. I should wear my T-shirt tomorrow.

Oh! And tomorrow - we are hosting a 7:30 a.m. Ash Wednesday service for anyone who’s interested. I meant to blog about this sooner, but the kids have STILL BEEN SICK. E-mail me or comment if you’d like to come, and I’ll let you in on all the details. Now I just have to go find my ashes…

If you are not bleeding, dismembered, and if no body parts are broken, please:

DO NOT INTERRUPT MY MORNING COFFEE.

Be advised that if you do, consequences could include, but are not limited to, the following: bleeding, dismemberment, or broken bones.

You have been so warned.

We had big plans for this weekend, what with the extra day off and all. Everything started off with a bang on Friday night. I was reading a book to Judah and Joshua and Killian were chasing each other in the back. I heard Killian fall and then heard him scream. He apparently went face first onto the floor and busted his lip pretty bad. I got some ice for him and Joshua held him while I applied ice to his mouth. He didn’t like that at all.

After a few moments, I got a look inside his mouth and noticed that not only was he bleeding from the lip, but that he was bleeding from the gums right where one of his upper teeth was. I also noticed that it looked like the tooth had been pushed back - it wasn’t lined up with the other one - and I wiggled it. It felt loose.

I called the kids’ dentist, who’s a really nice man and as far as I can tell, a good dentist. He told me to take my thumb and push his tooth back into place for a good ten seconds, and that Killian wasn’t going to like it one bit. He said the tooth would either be fine or it could discolor and/or die and then we would have to take steps depending on the severity of the injury. We’re supposed to monitor his tooth over the next month to see it turns a brown or grey color and if it looks like there is any infection in the root. He told us what to look for. So that was that. Killian woke up Saturday morning, looking like he’d had a bout with Rocky around the mouth. Despite pushing on his tooth - and he wasn’t thrilled about that - it remains further back that the other one.

We also decided to switch rooms with the kids since we had the bigger room and they had the smaller one. We never use our room during the day, but I am constantly in the kids’ room all day, as that’s where they spend most of their time playing. Once a few buckets of toys are spilled out, it gets kind of cramped.

We had thought about using the whole three days to slowly transfer everything over, but once we got started, we had everything moved by the time the kids went to bed on Saturday. We’re still tweaking the arrangement of the furniture, but so far, this is going to work out much better.

Having all the major furniture switched on Saturday turned out to be a huge blessing, because Judah woke us up, and by “us” I mean Joshua, at 1:30 Sunday morning with a 102 degree fever and spent the rest of the night and the next day in our bed. She was feeling pretty wimpy. I stayed home from church and took care of her.

Joshua decided to sleep with Killian last night to give Judah and me more room in the bed. I wanted her close by in case she got sicker during the night. I was awakened at 2 a.m. by Joshua calling for help because Killian had thrown up all over himself, Joshua, and the bed. I sat with Killian in the bathroom, stripping him of his puke-covered clothes, while Joshua stripped and changed the bed and got himself new pajamas. No sooner than they got settled back down in bed together, than Killian threw up again, hitting not only the towel Joshua had laid down, but Joshua and the sheets and himself again. So we got up again and stripped everything and changed everything.

Judah decided to take that moment to fully wake up and say she was hungry. She kept puppy-dogging me and I had to keep sending her back to bed. I took her temperature, which was spiking, and gave her a dose of Tylenol. Everyone crawled back into their beds. There’s something about sleeping with a feverish preschooler - she wants to sleep ON TOP OF YOU. Then, when she rolls over, she takes all that great heat with her, so you’re left shivering from the difference. Judah didn’t sleep much after all of that, and about an hour later, woke up from a half-doze and suddenly popped off the bed, announcing, “I’m going to get some breakfast!” she was halfway out the bedroom door before I could get her to crawl back in bed.

Killian came toddling in at five a.m., and crawled in bed with me, laying his head down on my chest. I thought it was sweet, until he started lifting up my shirt, looking for a snack. I refused to nurse him, due to the vomiting, and he screamed bloody murder for a while as Joshua padded in and extracted him, taking him back to their room. Of course, Judah thought this meant she could get up and declared, “I want a hot dog for breakfast!” I made her lie back down.

We managed to keep the kids in their rooms until about 8:15 this morning, when I told Judah she could go play quietly in her room for a little while. Shortly after, Killian came toddling into our room again and I decided to see if he could nurse and keep it down. Joshua headed off to the kitchen to make some breakfast and to START THE COFFEE, and as soon as he turned the corner, I heard him holler.

Apparently, ants had found their way into the kitchen through a crack along the window and a thick black line of ants was snaking its way down the frame, across the backsplash and across the counter, and swarming all over the compost bowl, which we had forgotten to take out the night before.

While Joshua was wiping ants and trying to deal the with compost, I was standing next to him, holding Killian in my arms and watching, when - you guessed it - Killian hurled all over me. So there’s Joshua, his hands thick with ants, trying vainly to contain them as they are quickly spreading across the counter, and me, covered in vomit from shoulders to feet, trying vainly to catch everything with my hands.

After the ants had been vanquished and Killian had been bathed, and I had changed clothes and we both stood there with a cup of coffee in our hands and two full loads of vomit-soaked laundry in the hall, while Joshua made oatmeal, I asked him “Aren’t you glad you have this three day weekend, so you can kick back, take it easy, and just relax a little bit?”

Sometimes you just have to make a choice to laugh.