it’s not about you

So I’ve been asked by several people how I am doing.

I’m doing much better, thanks. This new chiropractic office I’ve been going to for the past few weeks seems to be helping a lot. The numbness/pain/tingling/pins-and-needles feelings in my arm are gone. My neck feels much better and my shoulder isn’t hurting as bad. I’m still a little frightened of doing something mundane and wrenching myself out again, but I’m feeling 95% better.

Joshua told me I was definitely feeling better because I’m not bursting into tears every 30 minutes.

My pubic bone still hurts quite a bit, which might be partly due to running on the Golden Gate Bridge yesterday hand-in-hand with Mary Judah. The chiropractic care seems to help with some maintenance, though. When I had gone without any for a couple of months, it got really bad, but now the pain is back to its regularly scheduled programming.

Most importantly, I feel like the chiropractors who are working on me now are empathetic and are listening to me and validating what I’m saying about what I’m going through. I’m not put through any guilt trips or implications that this pain is somehow my fault as if I’m not doing what I’m told. So I feel much more comfortable there. They also don’t pretend to have the magic touch and and expect that as soon as I’m adjusted, my pain will instantly disappear. They are also open and encouraging when I talk about other therapies I’m considering. They don’t get huffy and act like it’s a personal affront.

Woo-hoo!

So I also went to my primary care physician this morning, to talk to her about all this and see if she had any suggestions. I have the numbers of some physical therapists to check out and a prescription for some Vicodin (I think Mom called them “happy pills”), for when the pain gets bad. I can’t wait to get that filled.

In other news, the appeals court has officially reversed its earlier decision and has stated that parents DO have a right to homeschool their children in the state. Hopefully I will have a separate post up about that and maybe - MAYBE - that long ago promised series on what was wrong with the ruling.

So I know I’m late to the game, but I have finally signed up for a twitter account. You can follow me at twitter.com/kristenrudd.

Also, thank you for all your comments, e-mails and phone calls. I feel very loved, and determined to get to the bottom of all this.

Dick Cavett writes a blog for the New York Times and this past Sunday, I found a piece he had written on depression. A few things popped out at me that had so much truth and understanding in them, I thought I’d post them here.

While speaking to a group of mental health patients:

“I know that everyone here knows that feeling when people say to you, ‘Hey, shape up! Stop thinking only about your troubles. What’s to be depressed about? Go swimming or play tennis and you’ll feel a lot better. Pull up your socks!’ And how you, hearing this, would like nothing more than to remove one of those socks and choke them to death with it.”

Some advice for those NOT struggling with depression:

Another tip: Do not ask the victim what he has “to be depressed about.” The malady doesn’t care if you’re broke and alone or successful and surrounded by a loving family. It does its democratic dirty work to your brain chemistry regardless of your “position.”

And quite possibly the best quote on the subject I’ve ever heard:

Apparently one thing I said on “Larry King” back then hit home hard. It was that when you’re downed by this affliction, if there were a curative magic wand on the table eight feet away, it would be too much trouble to go over and pick it up.

You can read the whole piece here.

This makes me so mad, I can hardly think straight.

Can you say “sexist?”

This is nothing but outright discrimination against women. Perhaps they should deny their husbands insurance unless they get a vasectomy, since these women are only worth insuring unless they are sterilized. Just like the drug company is only targeting Gardasil to adolescent girls when they get HPV by having SEX which usually involves SOMEONE ELSE, and more dominantly, a BOY.

OR just like all the main symptoms for heart disease we are told to look for are predominately found in men, while the symptoms women face are hardly understood or studied as much.

Or just like how women used to be diagnosed with female hysteria and subject to ridiculous, harmful, and demeaning treatments because some “had a tendency to cause trouble.”

I don’t know, or just like how women are told if they nurse their babies longer than six months they’re abusing their children.

Or how stay-at-home moms are pitted against working moms as if we’re all a different breed from each other.

Or, you know, how the rumors about the casts from Sex and the City or Desperate Housewives are always cat-fighting, but no one starts rumors about the Sopranos, because you know, women just cat-fight and men are rational.

I’m effing sick and tired of the establishment discriminating against us just for being women.

How ’bout that pay raise now?

So, for some reason, I can no longer post photos to the main page from my Flickr. I have no idea why, since I’m about as tech-savvy as… someone who’s not tech-savvy. Anyway.

I’ve posted a couple of new photos since the one that appears on the site. Just click through to see them. As soon as I find my card reader and upload photos from the Nikon, I’ll have post-haircut pictures and pictures from our camping trip this past weekend with some friends.

It’s still nice and warm here. I woke up sticky this morning in my sheets and for a minute, thought I was in Texas. I went downstairs to get some things out of the car, and when I stepped on the brick right outside our front door in the hallway, I cringed, waiting for my bare foot to touch cold brick, since the stairwell is always cool. When it didn’t happen, and the brick stayed warm under my foot, I cackled a little bit.

There’s always a chill in the air here - everyone carries a bag so they have a sweater and a scarf available at all times. A comment on the weather article on the Chronicle’s web site that said “I don’t even know how to dress for anything over 65 degrees” made me laugh out loud. Everyone has been practically basking in this heat - it’s been a welcome respite. I’ve never seen so many people wearing black at a beach.

A woman visiting from Florida who was quoted in last night’s article was recounting her cab ride where the driver refused to turn on the air-conditioning even though it was in the 90’s outside. She was baffled.

At one point in my life, I would have been, too. Now I understand. Everyone here is trying to soak it up and store it, just like Vitamin D.

The temp in San Francisco right now?

94 degrees, baby.

I am loving this. The kids and I hit the beach this morning with some friends and we got there early enough to not have any trouble finding a parking spot. Of course, it was mobbed with hot and cranky people when we left. Nancy and I were at the water’s edge with all the kids, when a couple of really skinny, tanned women in skimpy bikinis sauntered by. I told Mary Judah to stop throwing sand so one of them could pass and when she was out of earshot, I turned to Nancy and said, “Maybe I should have let her keep throwing it.” Neither of us are by any means obese, yet we lamented the deterioration of our bodies anyway, when another skinny and tanned and skimpy-bikini-clad woman walked by, leaving Nancy and I speechless again. I turned to her after a few moments and said, “Well… I’ve given birth! TWICE!”

We’ve got the kiddie pool set up in the backyard soaking up warmth from the sun so we can go out there after Killian’s nap. My kids are running around mostly naked and I’m sweating.

I’m just sure glad I’m not pregnant right now.

Since news of Eliot Spitzer’s “alleged” involvement with a prostitute, I’ve been getting A LOT MORE hits off of google for “Kristen.”

I’m not her, by the way.

“Remember when we first fell in love and we used to wander around the streets of Paris, taking pictures together? And then we consummated that love and popped out two kids? Yeah, those days are so over.”

That was last night, on the two-year anniversary of our Texodus.

So my best friend, Kristin, is an opera singer in New York City. I like telling people that. It makes me proud of her.

Her current show is “Dangerous Liasons” and it got a write-up in the New York Times this week.

Polaroid is getting out of the Polaroid business.

O

M

G

!!!!

via the nytimes.