Initially, we had not planned on sending Mary Judah to preschool at all.
I didn’t see the point - I knew that we could get along just fine without it and that I could provide any preschool-level educational needs that she had. Kids at that age need to play and paint and make music and be read to and run around, and we were already doing those things anyway, so preschool wasn’t on my radar. I also feel that young kids need to be with their parents and family as much as possible and wasn’t interested in shipping her off every day at four years old.
My brother and sister-in-law are both educators, and Lacey, my sister-in-law, specializes in early childhood education and therapy. I had asked her a lot about what kind of things I could expect Mary Judah to “need” at the preschool level, and all of her answers were things we were already doing as parents.
Does Your Child Have A Portfolio?
There’s an interesting phenomenon here in San Francisco: I have yet to meet a parent who sends their kids to “day care.” People either hire nannies, or do a nanny share, or their kids go to “preschool.” Kids as young as 18 months go to preschool here. Something about that is a little insane.
There was an article a few years ago about the pressure parents in the Bay Area feel about getting their kids into the “right” preschool. It can be harder, and just as expensive, to get your kid into a San Francisco-area preschool as it is to get into college. Some preschool tuitions run as high as $20,000! It has become such a status issue for so many parents. Preschool is the new Ivy League!
I didn’t want to have anything to do with that. I went to preschool - for half a day. Most of the preschools are full-day, and many offer extended care. Clearly, there’s a demand for that due to two-working-parent families, but that doesn’t fit our family. I didn’t see why I should pay for my child to have an educational experience that I could offer her at home. And at that point, I was doing a lot of research into education and the possibility of homeschooling, so that was very much on my radar as well.
Finding Las Mananitas
When Mary Judah was four, I was on a yahoo group for local parents and someone posted a blurb about a new preschool called Las Mananitas starting in San Francisco. It was for a home-based, Spanish-immersion preschool, that was going to be two mornings a week.
A language-immersion experience was something that I could not offer her, so I was intrigued. I was also comforted by the fact that it would be in someone’s home and would only be two days a week for a few hours, as I didn’t want her to go to any institutional school, and wasn’t interested in something that took her away from us for hours every day.
There was also one other thing I couldn’t offer her, and that was friends.
We had been in San Francisco over a year at that point, and I was having a hard time finding friends for Mary Judah. We went to the park, and had started attending a church, and we knew a few people with kids, but we weren’t making connections with others in the way we had hoped. We had left a close and caring community in Dallas, and Mary Judah was missing her friends. Much to my surprise, The City can be a very lonely place, especially for a stay-at-home mom with a toddler and infant. If I could find a preschool that made sense, it would also be worth it for her to build some friendships.
I called and spoke to Kim, the woman who was starting the preschool in her home, and she answered all my questions and sent me a brochure. There were two open houses that summer and we didn’t make the first one. I almost threw in the towel on the idea, but we made the second one. We talked about it with Mary Judah beforehand and asked her what she thought about the idea. Of course, she’s game for anything.
The Tour
When we pulled up, Mary Judah asked me if this was going to be her new preschool, and I told her we’d see, but that we didn’t know. I still wasn’t convinced that this was the right thing for us to do, and wanted to make sure that we weren’t compromising any values we had. You have to keep in mind that I am a natural-birth, breast-feeding, cloth-diapering, organic-as-possible, no-battery-toys mom.
We fell in love with the preschool. There was a garden in the backyard for the kids to plant vegetables in, an area just to shovel rocks, a wooden play structure, a porch swing to read books on, and an easel for painting. In the house were wooden kitchen toys, wooden blocks, a wooden dollhouse, puzzles and tons of books, wooden trains, crayons and paper and scissors and glue, a large kid-sized table with chairs, and a reading nook to curl up in surrounded by mosquito netting. It was a warm, comforting, nurturing environment. It was just the kind of environment I would want my children to have.
We did the tour and had a Q&A session. The entire preschool would be conducted entirely in Spanish, and the teachers believed in kids’ ability to learn through play. The kids would wear slippers in the house (something we also do at home). Music would be a big part of the program, and the kids would have outdoor time each day, and story time, and games, and gardening activities, and baking once a week, and all the snacks and cooking would be entirely organic.
I was really impressed and felt like the values of the school were very much in line with ours. I also noticed, that while this was not a Christian preschool, the home’s bookshelves contained Bibles and Bible-related books, and a picture frame with a Bible verse on it. Christianity is not a cultural phenomenon here like it is in the South, where almost every house has a Bible or three and Scripture verses appear on the walls of restaurants because it’s good marketing strategy. I immediately knew that, at some level, a sincere and active faith played a part in their home.
We decided to apply, and if she got in, great, and if she didn’t, great. It was the only preschool to which we applied. She got in.
Preschool Has Changed Our Lives
I’m not kidding when I say preschool has changed our lives. Mary Judah has made lots of friends at preschool and beyond, with preschool being our connector. Right after the start of the school year, Kim invited me to a Thursday morning Bible study that provided free childcare. Through that, I’ve made friends with other Moms and Mary Judah has increased her circle of friends. We’ve gotten to go on field trips to places I didn’t know about and I’ve discovered more about our area because of it.
I’ve found community through her preschool, and I’ve found dear friends on whom I can rely because of the connections we’ve made there. Las Mananitas filled a void in our lives and was an answer to prayer for us. Kim (who has a masters in early childhood development and taught in the San Francisco public schools for about ten years) has also been one of my biggest cheerleaders for homeschooling, and has given me lots of resources, books, and ideas. We have sat several times together where I have cried over my frustrations and feelings of inadequacy on this journey.
This past year, the preschool extended to three days a week, and this coming fall, will extend each day by an hour to include lunch. So the tuition has risen since the first year. Mary Judah attended one day a week for the better part of this year, but we ended up pulling her out for many reasons. We still go on the field trips when we can. Killian, as a sibling, would have had priority placement this coming fall if we had decided for him to attend, but I want to wait until he is four.
Las Mananitas has meant so much to us, and has been more than just a preschool - it’s a community that we want to see succeed and be a part of and support. If we are able to send Killian there, then we want to do anything in our power to see that happen.
i just want to put in a positive note for those who do choose to put their kids in pre-school. my mother was very lucky to be able to take off work for the first 2 years of my life, but she had to go back eventually. when i was a little over a year, she started sending me to the daycare/preschool at my grandmother’s church occasionally. it wasn’t every day and my grandmother worked at the church, so she was able to stop in and check on me. then, when i was 2, i started going to real pre-school. i loved it. i still spent plenty of time with my parents and was able to make friends that i ended up going all the way through school with. it was another church, this time close to my mother’s school. it wasn’t some crazy pre-harvard, place, but they were able to work with those of us who were “advanced” so that i was well ahead of my peers when i entered first grade.
the main reason i want to bring it up is that i have this theory about memory (tin-foil hat time! not really). my memories go back to that 18 month old range, which is WAY longer than most people i know. i think that being in the more structured environment allowed my brain to place events in sequence, and therefore make them accessible, a lot earlier than people who don’t go to school until they’re 5 or 6.
it’s just a thought. especially if you have an only, like i was, in a neighborhood without any other kids of the same age, like i did.
and, i realize that it sounds like i didn’t read your post before commenting. i only kind of did. sorry.
i’m really glad you guys have enjoyed your pre-school experience. i’m very pro-preschool (in case you couldn’t tell), but you definitely have to find the right one for you and your kid.
This preschool sounds super cool. I love the language immersion. We were hesitant about sending Leila off before she could talk, but when she was 21/2 she started going and loved it. I wanted her to have the structure of the preschool since I wasn’t home with her. Leila made really good friends there and has happy memories of the place. Ali goes to the same school everyday now since he enjoys it.
that pre-school sounds incredible.