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As my friend Lauren says… »

I’m Not Ready For This

IN THE SAME DAY:

Mary Judah ruined her brand new dress and a new shirt after I caught her marking up the entire phone book (and her dress and shirt) with a big black Sharpie. The phone book, I don’t care about, the brand new dress she’s only worn three times? Maybe a little bit.

Killian, who it seems always has a hand down the front of his pants, started pulling his penis up out of his diaper. Every time I try to stick it back in and tell him no, he thinks it’s a game. Can they stretch their penis that far to pull it up out of their diaper? YES, THEY CAN. I see unknown urine puddles on the floor in my future (all the mothers of boys reading this are now cackling evilly at me - you know who you are!!!)

I knew these things would happen, but I thought they might be staggered a little bit, you know, to at least give me a fighting chance.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 15th, 2008 at 7:34 am and is filed under Rants, Parenthood, Family. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

5 Responses to “I’m Not Ready For This”

  1. lauren ahkiam Says:
    April 15th, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    she’s such a genius photog, she’s probably just trying to graff up her clothes so she can be more street and DIY. next thing she’ll be ripping the sleeves off and lining the edges with safety pins.

    all i can say about the diaper mishaps is quote elaine from seinfeld that i don’t even know how dudes walk around with those things.

  2. Mark Thames Says:
    April 15th, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    Yeah, Abigail talks about submissive urination from her dog, but there’s also defiant urination, at least among people. Then of course there’s just urination for the sheer joy of it.

  3. Bruce Reyes-Chow Says:
    April 15th, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    OMG!!!!! Leslie and I were in a meeting with “grown ups” today and just about busted a gut reading this. Thanks!

    And oh yeah, Killian is going LOVE this post when he is a teenager!

  4. justin Says:
    April 15th, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    sorry about the dress.

    at least killian is pulling his penis out of his diaper… not shite. aidan has a shite thing going right now.

    for periods of time, we’ll not hear from him and then, out of nowhere, we hear, “Ow! Ow! Mommy, ow!” only to find him with a hand full of crap.

    now that’s what i call crappy.

  5. Lacey Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 4:42 pm

    Yeah, I’ve seen Jacob make balloon animals with his!

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