My recent blog hiatus is due to the fact that I left town on Saturday to go to Houston for a few days to spend some time with my grandmother, who is now in nursing care. Cynthia alerted me to fare specials with American that were good for this past weekend, so I took the kids with me and flew to the Lone Star State. Joshua and I have been talking about getting a chance soon to go and see her, but flights are expensive this time of year, and we couldn’t justify the cost.
When I saw this special rate between DFW and SFO, we felt like we couldn’t pass it up. I had to book on Saturday and stay over a Sunday night. I was going to have to take both kids with me, since Joshua would have to go to work, so I decided to book the longest trip it would let me, which was until Tuesday. I got an early morning flight for Saturday, and a nighttime flight for Tuesday, to give me the most time.
I planned to land in Dallas, go to Waco to spend the night with the Rudds, lest I never be forgiven, go to Houston Sunday, and come back to Dallas on Tuesday in time to catch the return flight. After I booked everything, I tried several times to get ahold of my dad, and couldn’t. When he called me back later in the day I told him I was flying to Dallas on Saturday. I think he was pretty surprised. He said, “Well, I’m going to Houston Sunday through Tuesday.”
How perfect is that? Everything fell right into place. I asked Dad if I could catch a ride with him. I don’t think I actually ever hit the Dallas city limits the whole time I was there. I even got to have lunch with my immediate family as well, minus the two Joshuas.
I’ve been wanting to go see my grandmother to ask her about her family. I realized recently that I know very little about my mom’s side of the family, and that with my mom gone and my uncle otherwise unavailable, the only way to find out is to ask my grandmother. That’s hard, because as my aunt said, she is from the “silent generation,” and also, as I’ve found out, it’s not the prettiest history to have and she doesn’t want to talk about it. Add to that how I’ve been worried that she might not be around until the next time I make it to Texas and I wanted to make sure I got to see her and had a chance to record some of my family history. We recently bought an audio recorder for my iPod, and I wanted to get any stories I could that she was willing to share.
Ever since I was a little girl, my grandmother has always been giving away things of hers as gifts to us, and making sure we had spoken for anything of hers we wanted. She always did this at birthdays and Christmas, saying, “I wanted to make sure you had it, in case I’m not around next year.”
A year or two ago, Joshua and I had visited her and told her to knock it off, ribbing her that she’s been saying that for at least 25 years and look where it’s gotten her - it’s probably what’s keeping her around. She’s started having some health problems, and was placed in nursing care this fall. When we were in Texas in October, she had just been moved into a care facility. She got to meet Killian for the first time and see Judah again. I’ve never believed her for a minute when, after a visit, she’d thank us profusely for coming and repeatedly tell us she loved us and say she wanted us to know, “in case I don’t see you again,” or “in case I’m not around much longer,” but now…
Well, who knows? She might be around a lot longer, or she might not. She’s proven she’s more stubborn than we thought (shocker…). This time I told her I attribute it to her habit of not eating breakfast, just coffee (in that case, I should be around a LONG TIME as well). I just don’t want to have any regrets and felt I needed to go see her. And I’m glad I did. I hope to get to go again soon.
I can’t really explain why this is so important to me - to document as much as I can of my matrilineal heritage, the good, bad, or ugly - but it is. Perhaps I don’t really need to explain. There’s an irreplaceable missing link in my life, my line, my family, and what I do know right now is that I’ve felt more connected to my mom and I’ve felt more grounded in who I am over the past few days than I have felt in a long time. And you can’t put a ticket price on that.
hey-can you email me your mailing address?
btw- this is a great post…so did she talk alot about her life??
i completely identify with your need to record and immortalize family history. i feel compelled to do so as well. the sad thing for me was by the time i realized how important it was to me it was too late. my maternal grandmother got alzheimers when i was in college and i never got around to asking her to tell me her story. maybe that explains my compulsion to chronicle my life and that of my family’s through scrapbooks, blogs, journals etc. i sure hope my kids appreciate it some day!
like tracey, i want to know if she opened up much.
I had a revelation a few years ago, that despite the fact that all of my grandparents are alive, and our entire family unit is “close” I know shocking little about my own family history. My Grandmother’s sister passed away a few years back. They had been estranged for something like 30 years, over something to do with their own mother’s death, and only in the last several years did they reconcile. After the reconciled they sort of became inseperable. When Francis died, my grnadmother wrote a short “memoir” about their childhood, and she gave all of the grandchildren. IT really, really touched me and made me aware of how little I know of my own roots. It was also a surprise to realize how not so far removed we are from a dramatically different way of life. I spent months after that guilting my aunt in California to scan and send me family photos that I never even knew existed of my grandmother as a baby all they way through her marriage to my grandfather, as well as people I never knew, like my great grandparents and other extended family members. So all that to say, I really understand your desire to connect to that history, and how hard it is to put into words. I hope your time with your grandmother was simply wonderful.
jeeze….sorry about all the typos. I can’t see through my allergies this morning.
So cool, K! My grandmother lives in FL & will be 90 this year. It’s amazing the similarities. She is continually giving me things of hers & saying things like “I’ll see you in heaven next time.” And sure enough I see her again year after year! I’m sure she’ll live to be 100! She’s still living in her own apartment, with some help, and just this year has stopped driving & has gotten a walker! Just incredible (scary, but incredible).
It’s really important to me too, to get to FL to see her at least once a year and I try to call her often just to say hello. I don’t want to have any regrets either and I’m really enjoying the time that I have with her now. I made a special trip to see her in Oct. and I’m hoping to be able to go again sometime this spring. And of course, for a big 90th bash this summer!
Love out to all the GRANDMAS!
Hey, I’m doing Christmas cards. Could you email me your mailing address? Puhleeeeeezzzzz? Thanks!
I’m so glad that worked out for you- how perfecto!