via Burnside Writer’s Collective.
Let’s be honest with ourselves. We all get angry. Anger is a natural part of our daily lives. For most people, anger may be felt once or twice a day. For those more serious about their religion, it may be felt a greater number of times. Like 4,000. One of the ways we express our angry feelings is with words. Bad words.
I get so offended when people swear in front of me. It hurts my ears, and it makes me feel bad for them. The Bible tells us to feel bad for people who aren’t Christians.
However, being a Christian myself, I refuse to swear. That is heathen talk. Profanity. The word profane means “of the common people.†Do you really want to be associated with common folk? Of course not. No good Christian in his right mind would. I mean as Christians we are supposed to be elevated above the common folk. That is also why I am a Republican, amen.
But I had a problem. How was I to express all this anger? I couldn’t say those bad words, so I had to figure out something else.
I thought about using euphemisms, like calling the toll booth operator a female dog, or the guy at Burger King a fatherless child, or an anus, or a bowel movement-head. But that would simply reduce my intended word-blitz from volatile verbiage to little more than an aborted word-eunuch.
Then it hit me: letters. Yes! Instead of actually saying the profane words that dribble so abundantly over the drunken, slutty, cold sore-encrusted lips of the un-churched, I could simply designate a letter to represent each hateful member of Satan’s lexicon.
Click the link the read the whole article. I laughed so hard, I almost snotted. This is the kind of stuff I wish I was writing.
i agree with the author. His way is definitely Christ-approved cussing for those of us who are ‘not perfect’ but ‘just forgiven.’ D Straight!
related to this piece of satire, my grandma wouldn’t let me say “oh my gosh” because it was just a stand-in (making me an aborted-word eunuch, apparently), suggesting instead that i say “oh my”, which doesn’t really sound very emphatic.
this is funny.
about your comment.
can i come tomorrow???
kels, it’s fine by me, but you’ll have to ask your parents first. : )
(Quote)Do you really want to be associated with common folk? Of course not. No good Christian in his right mind would. I mean as Christians we are supposed to be elevated above the common folk.(/Quote)
I disagree with this, but let’s not get into that.
Swearing, I agree, is a really annoying little thing our tongues do. But even if we go the “aborted-word eunuch” we still know what we intended to say.
Therefore, in my opinion, it doesn’t matter if you just go “WTF” or say its shortened letter forms, we still know we just cusses someone out.
And God definitely knows we did it. =P
to Random Kid - I don’t know if you read the whole thing, but as Lauren said above, it is written as satire. It gets even more obvious as the article goes on. I hope NO ONE would agree with the quote. Which, is part of the point.
to Kristen Rudd - Ahh… So that’s why… English isn’t exactly my native language (though I find it surprisingly easier to type and read…) so, yeah…
Withdrawn, your honor. =P