it’s not about you

I love my little guy. He’s started being awake a little bit more and looking around, taking everything in rather than just screaming for food. I’ve been able to get out a bit more with the kids and it’s getting a little easier. Still somewhat of a challenge sometimes, but the more I do it, the more I figure it out.

He LOVES being in the sling. Sunday morning, we got a CityCarShare to go to Trader Joe’s while the hourly rate was cheaper. We had to get him dressed and in his car seat before he was really awake. At the store, I put him in the sling and he just slept the whole time. I put him in it again almost all day yesterday. I went to Tartine with Katie, and the stroller is just too big to take in there, and I ended up going straight from there downtown to meet Joshua, so I didn’t have a chance to go get the stroller. He loved it. He just gets so cozy in there.

He’s a big cozy guy — he likes being covered up when he sleeps. We’ve discovered he sleeps better and longer when he’s under the comforter with us. And that makes Mommy and Daddy sleep better and longer. And we’re all for that.

He’s also starting cooing, just a little bit, but it’s there. He’s got such a sweet voice. I had forgotten about these little sounds babies make. And the “superman stretch” is my favorite — when, after he’s nursed and I’m lifting him to my shoulder, he arches his back, raises both arms over his head and makes squeaky noises.

He’s also got this little face he makes when he doesn’t like something - it gets all scwunchy (anyone know how to spell that??) and looks a little bit like judah’s pirate face. Then you KNOW he’s not thrilled with whatever it is. It is a look of pure and absolute distaste. I have witnesses. I’ll have to capture that one when I get a chance.

Dude, Chavez was so wrong.

Click here to find out why. Fun-NEE.

***update***
I changed the link to the original column to the sfgate archive page. cause the possum fur nipple warmers, while funny, makes no sense when talking about hugo.

TOO CUTE.

I so have to get some of these for my kids for Christmas.

Anyone know how I can put one of these pics on my blog?

I was putting clothes away in the bedroom this morning, and Judah was standing by the window playing with the cord to the mini blinds. The end of the blind has that little cone on it - you know what I’m talking about. In typical mother fashion, I told her not to touch, to put it down, just waiting for her to tear it out of the wall or break it or otherwise destroy the cord.

Of course, she didn’t listen to me the first time, because she was too busy playing. I always give her a second before I ask her again, but before I had a chance I heard this:

With the little cone held up to her ear like an old telephone: “(jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber…then) Eyes? What color are they? Oh gosh, I didn’t look!” Then she dropped the cord and ran out of the room, shouting, “It’s a boy! It’s a boy!”

Maybe it’s time she watched something else besides Lady and the Tramp.

Sometimes my daughter really takes me by surprise. At dinner tonight she came out with this one:

“Killian’s your son. I’m your moon.”

I think I have a new nickname for her now. She also paralyzed me with this one:

“Mommy, where’s your mommy?”

I mean, PARALYZED ME. She asked it again, and I turned to Joshua, my brain racing, and said to him, “I don’t know how to answer that.”

He just looked back at me, his face suddenly apologetic, and didn’t have words. We both looked at her inquisitive little face and trying to think of something that she would understand, I said, “My mommy’s in Heaven with Jesus.”

“Oh, with Jesus,” she repeated. This was something she could understand, at least partially. She knows how to sing Jesus Loves Me and Jesus Loves The Little Children, so she’s kind of got a handle on this Jesus guy. I don’t think she had much of a handle on Heaven, however. For all she knows, Heaven is in the East Bay. I can guarantee you, it’s not.

Small talk like this ensued, and she asked me again where my mommy was. I leaned forward, and as gently as I could muster, which I’m afraid wasn’t as gentle as I would have liked it to have been, I said, “My mommy died. And now she’s in Heaven with Jesus. She’s not here with us anymore.”

You should have seen her face when I told her my mommy died. I think death is a concept that she does understand, however little. She has, after all, already been to three funerals. Her face fell slightly, and she looked sad. I wanted to use a gentler word, but I don’t think “passed away” is going to make sense to her. And I think to say someone died is okay. Things like “she’s not coming back” makes it sound like she abandoned us or left or is otherwise choosing not to be a part of our lives, and I don’t want to confuse her with that.

After I told her she died, I told her again that my mommy was in Heaven with Jesus. She said, “In Jesus?”

“That’s right,” I confirmed.

“Where’s Jesus’s house?”

“It’s in Heaven. That’s where my mommy lives now.”

“Oh.” The light bulb was beginning to click on now. “Your mommy lives in Jesus’s house in Heaven?”

“Yes.”

“Heaven’s in circles and circles?” She said this holding her little arm up and making circles over her plate of chicken spaghetti and corn casserole, how appropriate.

“That sounds about right, Judah.” That’s as good of a definition as to the location of Heaven as I could probably explain, anyway.

“Oh.”

And that was that. At least that’s over. For now.

YESSSSS!!!!

Killian is five weeks old today. He had his one-month visit at the pediatrician’s office on Tuesday, where I found out that he now weighs 11 pounds and 14 ounces. He’s gained a pound and 10 ounces in a little over two weeks. Wow. The doctor asked if the nursing was going well. Apparently, it’s going fine. He’s officially outgrown all his clothes. He was wearing a six to nine month onesie this morning - and it fit. Thanks to Kyle and Lacey, Granddad, and Nana and Papa, he is set now.

So, without further ado…

Oh yeah. I realized I never blogged about the result of his tongue-clipping. As you can see from the above picture, we did go in to have it done and the doctor did agree that it could and should be clipped. A little lidocaine, one snip later, and we were done. We tried to get him to nurse right after in the office, which was kind of funny. Between his newfound abilities and the lidocaine, he couldn’t quite do it. He now had a long, floppier, and completely numb tongue.

Things have been much better and I am now nursing pain-free, which is very important. He seems to have adjusted quite fine, if His Chubbiness is any indication.

Joshua has decided that Killian now has three awake phases: eating, wanting to eat, and showing us what he ate. I think he has forgotten how much babies spit up. Judah could lob it right over your shoulder and onto the floor without ever hitting your clothes. Killian doesn’t have her aim, but he can certainly hold his own in that department. As one Mr. Thames says, people who have babies live on the edge of wetness.

And I’m sad now.

***update***
Well, I’m still sad about them having left us, but I wanted to mention that these two photos are of the grandparents’ introductions to Killian and the first time they got to hold him. I thought that was an important aspect to mention.

Make that three photos. Only fair to show Nana, too.