On the way back from the chiropracter…
Unbelievably enough, I had ANOTHER person on public transportation make comments about “why can’t you put some appropriate clothes on.” Apparently a full-term pregnant lady isn’t allowed to wear a tank top and jeans in the summer without offending people.
So a non-pregnant person is fine, but the second you are carrying around 40 extra pounds of about-to-burst child, you’re supposed to wear a full burqua, lest someone actually notice the fact that you are growing another human being inside of you.
Please. I am so tired of strangers thinking it’s their right to make rude comments to me about my clothes when I have enough problems to worry about, like it’s not enough that being this much pregnant and trying to get around town with a toddler, i have to suffer abuse from people about things that are none of their business anyway. And I said so. Then this man said it was his business because he had to look at me. Then if you have such a problem with it, don’t look, I told him. Hookers on MUNI get less attention.
At least this time there were empty seats.
Most of my interactions with people are friendly. People help me get Judah on and off the bus. People move over or get up so we can sit down. People ask me if I’m having a boy, or joke with me about my hands being full. People offer to help me out of my seat when we reach our stop.
Some tourists, a man and his twin nine-year-old daughters, were riding the N line out to Golden Gate Park on my way to the chiropracter, and when the train stopped once, one of the girls asked her dad why we were stopped. He teasingly told her that it was time for everyone to get out and push. Except for the pregnant lady, she doesn’t have to push, he said. So I piped up and said, I’ll be more than happy to “push” anytime. He got the joke.
Most conversations are like that. People touch Judah’s curls and ask her questions about the baby. They want to know when I’m due, how I’m feeling. They are nice. They are sympathetic. They tell me their stories. They care. And then some old, cranky person has to reveal their apparent deep-seated bitterness towards me and I just don’t get it.
You nake and start handing out your own “Jack-Ass” I.D. cards. Maybe they’ll get the point.
i don’t get it either. i believe you, it must be very hard to get around w/ a big ready to explode belly and a toddler.
i know people have things goin on in their life, or not going on, and they say rude things, but i don’t understand why it’s the belly showing thing.
especially since, like you said, non pregnant women strut around half naked.
i mean, pregnant people can go to teh beach. i dunno.
Wow, not only did he have the guts to say something in the first place, but to respond! That blows my mind. I mean, I’m kind of a jerk but even I wouldn’t say something twice. Once is just enough to get my point across.
But, define tank top. Tank top that keeps everything in, or tank top with boobs spilling out all over the place? If it’s the latter, I may agree with him. If it’s the former, then I would have suggested kicking him in the shins.
Contained. First, I don’t really have much in the way of boobs to spill out (although I admittedly have more than when I started this human-making process). Secondly, I wouldn’t, even if I did (although I would have LOVED to hear what he might’ve said if I had been nursing a baby…).
And he was looking at my stomach, because once again, climbing the steps to get on the rail, my clothes shifted, daring to expose pregnant skin. I was even wearing maternity jeans, you know, with the huge “flannel panel?”
My priorities are to make sure my child is seated and safe, and that I have my balance on a moving vehicle before I try to readjust my clothing for maximum stretch-mark coverage. call me crazy, but I think they’re in order.
I’m wondering why there is a double standard for how pregnant women dress as opposed to the rest of the female population. That would be interesting to explore. I dress no differently than I do when I’m not pregnant - mostly tank tops and jeans. it’s weird.
oh yeah, and I don’t really think it was “guts” that opened his mouth anyway. : )
He made remarks about the baby belly! You should have slugged him with it. Maybe because I have/had a twice baby bellied babe I’m biased, but I think it’s super adorable.
If I get send to San Diego again for work, I’ll see if I get free time to head that way, jump on the trolley (or whatever it was), and give him a humiliating and uncomfortable wedgie for you.
I CANNOT believe that someone would say something to you like that!!! I personally find the pregnant female body to be incredibly precious and downright BEAUTIFUL. I am so sorry that you have to endure such wretched comments from people, on muni no less…