it’s not about you

I don’t really feel like talking too much right now, if you don’t mind. Maybe I’ll feel better next week. My grandmother died yesterday and her funeral is Friday, so we’ll be out of town for a couple of days. I’m shooting a wedding on Saturday. I know this is kind of juvenile of me, but until Sunday, I only want to hear happy things, if you please. Thanks. The world can continue on its sucky path after my weekend is over.

God, I know you’re listening: can i have some happy stuff?

I thought I would/should wait until this morning to post this, which I’m thinking now is a wise idea, as if I has posted this last night when I got home it would have been filled with f-bombs and the word “bastards” a LOT.

Last night around 9, I went to my brother’s house in Oak Cliff/Winnetka Heights to do a couple loads of laundry. They showed up about 10:30 and we hung out while my clothes were drying. About midnight, I took my laundry out to my car and set it on the street to unlock my door. That’s when I noticed our windshield visor was laying in the street next to my car. “I must have knocked it out of the backseat when I pulled the laundry out,” I innocently thought. We’ve been keeping it back there to cover Judah’s car seat these days. That when I noticed my door wouldn’t unlock. So I tried to door. It was ALREADY unlocked. I tried to back door, which was already unlocked.

So I opened the doors and looked inside, quite bewildered, when I noticed the glove box open, papers strewn across seats and that SOME BASTARDS STOLE OUR CAR SEAT. i apologize. I had every intention of calming down this morning. I mean mourning. I was/am so pissed off. This makes four times in a year our car has been broken into, PLUS the time last June when it was stolen. We’ve had to have the brakes fixed, the a/c’s out, it’s been backed into and the hood damaged, the radiator’s been replaced, I JUST got the window fixed yesterday and now it needs to be fixed YET AGAIN from where the bastards pulled it out to get in the car.

This is SO not good for my mental health.

What kind of sick-ass bastard would steal a car seat, especially from HER?

Radios, CD’s DVD’s, computers, all that other shit that people leave in their car I get, but a kid’s CAR SEAT? Thank God we disabled the trunk release , or they would have taken the stroller, too. Steal from me, steal from my husband, fine but you steal from my BABY? Whoever did this has better pray hard they don’t ever run into me, cause once you mess with my kid, I’m not a pacifist anymore. Even I have limits, and I’ll beat the living shit out of you.

There, I feel better. And I’m sorry I cussed so much. God and I will be working on my anger issues today.

Anyone want a 1995 Honda Accord with no A/C? I’ll sell it to ya real cheap!

So when I wrote that last post, I didn’t mean you.

joshua is coming home with a new baby today. He invited me to go with him, but good Lord, I hate the Mac store. I like my computer, I just don’t want to be part of the buying process. i’d rather have my eyeballs popped out of my head and fried up as hors d’ourves. Yeah, I know that’s gross. That’s so you know I’m SERIOUS.

In other news. Joshua got in our un-air-conditioned car today and attempted to roll down the window, but it didn’t work. He tried to roll it up and back down, since he could hear the motor running. He tapped on it and it dropped down into the door. The guys who “fixed” it after it got smashed a couple of months ago, will be out first thing in the morning to fix it again.

I think Ms. Mims is right - our car must be cursed.

as if you needed one.

OF ALL DAYS TO FORGET TO TAKE MY CAMERA WITH ME, THIS HAD TO BE THE DAY.

So Friday night, on our way to the Katie’s-in-town party, Joshua and the munchkin and I stopped to get dinner at Chick-fil-A. We’re sitting in a booth, eating, when two women walked in, dressed head to toe in cow outfits. Apparently, it was be a cow, eat free chicken night, unbeknownst to us. I was dying for my camera and couldn’t believe I had forgotten to bring it to the party, and therefore, didn’t have it on my person when we went to eat.

It reminded me very much of this.

And in the words of dooce, all you militant vegetarians who are judging us for having eaten chicken, well you can just SUCK IT.

So I have a jalapeno and tomato plant. I’ve had them all season. They’re getting bigger every day. Their leaves look good and green. But no fruit! What’s up with that? I had a jalapeno pepper in the spring, but a caterpillar ate it. I’ve had a lot of flowers, but nothing edible has come sprouting. Not a thing has shown its face on my tomato plant.

This isn’t good for my goal to grow my own food. *sigh*

i’m a little bit flabbergasted. i have this friend who is a pathological liar and continuously lies to everyone she knows, including myself. and it’s not about small stuff either — it’s about things like her age, where she was born, what her dad does for a living, where she grew up, how she knows people, whether she’s pregnant or has certain conditions and diseases, her accent… the list goes on. it always blows up in her face, yet she continues to pereptuate lies even after she’s been caught. or she’ll begin to lie about something else. she will make up complete histories of lies to satisfy all the questions you could ask about her experiences. and if you think about it really hard, things don’t add up. so when you ask her, to try to make it make sense, she explains it away in such a way that it satisfies your face answers, but at the same time leaves you more confused so you don’t even know what to ask.

she’s decided to continue down this path of lies and it’s going to get her in trouble. more trouble than she’s in now — i’m talking the kind of trouble that is going to get her killed. and the worst part is — she doesn’t even see it. she won’t return my calls. mostly because she knows i know about her most recent lies. i told her so in my last message. it hurt to leave that message, because i’m at the point where i can’t continue to try to help her — not because I don’t want to, but because she doesn’t want to be helped. i’m not giving up on her, but i’m making her make the choice to choose good things or not. i told her voice mail that this would be the last time I called her unless i heard back from her, that I couldn’t continue to chase after her if she doesn’t want the relationship. it really hurt to say that, but I had to. and THAT really hurt as well. i told her she was worth a lot more than what she’s throwing her life away for right now. and that i loved her and hoped she would call me.

i have this feeling i’m never going to hear from her again.