My new favorite web site is Kristina Carlton’s blog. Kristina is also known in some circles as “Bob’s wife.” Funny, because her thoughts on her identity being found in and belonging to Jesus and not her husband are similar to some of the meanderings going on in my brain lately. For me, especially with the reality of soon-to-be-baby-with-us getting closer, and the paralyzing fear of not being as mobile, I’ve been giving my identity some thought. I, like Kristina, love my husband more than I could express (”cute fighting couple” stigma and all), and my fear lately is that with an infant, I will not be able to go and do and be a part of things and be involved while Joshua can. I fear the label of “Joshua’s wife,” or that I will be viewed as not as important/relelvant, or as having as much to offer as before and will be cast to the wayside.
so I am brought to ask, “what is important?” Isn’t my identity found in Jesus, and not myself or my ability, or what I have to “offer?” Isn’t my relationship with our new child the third most important, after the two men in my life? Shouldn’t my energy be focused on those three people? Especially as I pray that Jesus would show our child who He is through us and our love for our baby, and how we make him/her our earthly priority?
All of these questions send me back to Jesus’ arms — to rest, be reassured, and find my path and focus.